An Observer by Vincent Ramos
The fact that I’m human disgusts me. The mass of rotting meat attached to these pallid bones is a chamber that chemically constrains my spirit, and every day I’m forced to present it to the sentient slugs whose secretions produce society. The nauseating images of the mind are low-dimensional matrixes that trap me in an awfully authoritarian form of thought where language is a torturous tyrant. The many senses of this tender flesh hypnotize me with aching illusions that cause horrifyingly sentimental delusions. These are the consequences of the human experience, and it is grueling to live them out.
The human is stuck in an inane world structured by the sociophysical framework. A framework where the worldly Ouroboros, with a monstrous contempt for liberty and insatiable lust for technological evolution, devours the uniqueness of the individual in order to churn out another cog in the machine. This framework comprises society and the body—the two despotic wardens of reality—and their inescapable fabrications tarnish the human experience. Race, gender, politics, morals, language, the five senses, and emotions are all examples of these fabrications that constrain humanity into this framework, and since the framework is a byproduct of human existence, it is immediately learned upon birth and perpetually embraced thereafter. The way human life in society works is essentially through a phenomenological caste system where one’s entire being and life path is determined by the framework. The human is held hostage by the framework, and due to ignorance of what is outside this worldview, they suffer from a sort of Stockholm Syndrome in which they believe the consciousness developed by the sociophysical framework is the key to life.
This is only so because the human knows nothing other than the framework, but this isn’t to say that this isn’t okay. There is no immediate need for the collapse of the framework since the abundant decadence of the human experience is absolutely worth enjoying to its maximum; it would be wrong to say that I entirely dislike being human. However, the individual freedom and ecstasy of the human experience is false, for consciousness is confined to a tried and true, warmed-over perspective, and that is the oppressive framework. The human can only think and feel through the ways the framework allows, which leads to a human experience that is not unique to any individual. What one thinks and feels now has already been a thought and feeling for someone before. The framework corrupts the individual experience and leaves one no chance to escape the worldly Ouroboros and be in peace from the cyclical oppression wrought by the framework.
The framework works similar to a hive mind where the Queen grants partial autonomy to her subjects. While the human may “think freely”, the essence of their thought resides within the framework. Liberating thought is not found confined within a framework. In fact, it doesn’t exist. Since thought entirely depends upon the fabrications of the framework, the mind as a whole is a product of the framework.
Fortunately, humanity is not a lost cause. While human existence and the environment they live in are manufactured by the framework, there is something almighty that lies beyond the suffocating veil of physical reality, and it is innate within the human. Albeit by accident, I have seen it once in my life so far.
My dad left his gun, a Beretta M9, in the cabinet under the TV because he wanted to trust his family with the responsibility of protecting each other from any unexpected threats. When showing me how to use it, since there’s always that paranoia clawing at the back of one’s mind when handing someone a fatal weapon, he was very hesitant in the process. In retrospect, it’s pretty funny to interpret that feeling as supernatural foresight.
He found himself to be a psychic the night I realized the almighty; those grotesque images he conjured then came to fruition when he saw me on the floor with a crater in the back of my head.
While the bullet shredded a part of my mushy brain and literally killed me for twenty two minutes, it also tore through the framework. In death, I returned to nothing. There was no light, but it wasn’t pitch black. There were no thoughts to bear and no feeling of anything, but I was aware of everything. It was a space absent of human existence, but I was somehow there. I only realized long after I came to that this was the space outside of the framework and I had entered the state of nothingness. The place where the human comes from when they’re born and where they return to when they die.
I understand the state of nothingness as a peaceful existence outside of a chaotic existence in an infinite space outside of all confined spaces, and I find it best summed up in the name of God. Through the great infiniteness of God, I realized the flesh is merely a transitory vessel. Human existence is an obstacle I must overcome in order to rest under God in the infinite peace of nothingness.
The human sees me walking down the street and assumes I am a brain hidden in a hardy skull. In actuality, my essence is above the firmament, outside of existence and in nothingness. I am not alive in this transitory vessel. Rather, I observe the world in all its fantastical beauty as a ghoulish spectator detached from all worldly consequences.
As an observer, I am indifferent to the framework. I can love it for the wondrous human experience, but at the same hate it for its draconian laws of reality. So instead of casting any judgement, I sit and observe. In the wait for the abyssal nothingness to take me back, I find that there is nothing better to do with my time.
